hi

when i was about to move to california

someone rear-ended me

(no jokes, you)

it screwed up my move completely

totally his fault though

i was stopped at a light

and i looked in my rear-view mirror

and said "hey i think this guy is gonna...."

BOOM

i made the most embarrassing sound when it happened

it was like "ehhhhGAHHHHAHHHHAHHAHA"

exactly like that

"ehhhhGAHHHHAHHHHAHHAHA"

it just sounded kind of retarded

but i am kind of retarded so maybe it was appropriate

anyways

i had all this money saved for when i got here

but i just stayed in arizona while my car got fixed

and went on dates with my now ex-girlfriend

wait

unrelated

FUCK

why did i buy the french vanilla soy milk??????

god FUCKING damn IT

they should make the slogan for this

"bringing 3 am truck stop coffee....to YOU!"

ok

that wasn't even funny but whatever

"it's gross" is what i'm saying

anyways

i spent all the money i'd saved up

this story is boring

the french vanilla joke is better than this story

ugh

i'm worthless

this has been another worthless dave update