hello

this is apparently dave update #99

wowza

that is a lot

um

i may be doing readings from the dave update this week

thursday to be exact

thursday?

i think

i have to double check

i should probably do that sooner than later

anyways

i'll post details

it's gonna be weird

i think a lot of the dave update is based in the fact that no one's really listening per say

so it'll be weird to do it for people

but i'll just get stoned ha ha ha ha ha ha

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i hope i get uncontrollable giggles when i'm reading them

ok

below there will be a list

eventually

i've been talking with a dear friend

(who was upset because she wasn't getting mentioned in the dave updates)

about a variety of things

but one of those things was about sex and sex-ish activities

and how god damn long it's been since i've had any of it

so here is a list of some that we came up with and some i'm remembering right now

last kiss was recent

thanks!

last make-out session was in december

at hell-arity, one of the east bay's grosser punk houses

actually it's not as gross any more

last time having sex was over a year ago i think

yup

last time giving oral sex was maybe a year and 3 months ago?

i'm not great with time so these might be off

in fact this isn't as much fun to write about as i was expecting

it sounds like whining and despite what you may read in prior updates

i really don't like to whine

i just slip into it at times

...

yeah i don't like this list

sorry readers

i got the feeling that that was going to be a good idea but i think now that it's not

oh well

they can't all be hits

i think that i will NOT read this dave update this week

this has been a poorly conceived dave update

hi there

i decided since i didn't do a dave update over the weekend

that maybe it's ok for me to do two in one day

plus i didn't talk much today

at stupid jittery work

so i have more words in me

i wanted to think of a cancer/blogging metaphor there

but it sounded too dramatic

hello

sorry

got distracted

anyways i wrote a haiku also

"gum sponsoring winks?
okcupid weirds me out
but now and again...?"

i hope the ellipsis doesn't add an extra syllable

i thought that the haiku might be funny enough to warrant an update

i hope you agree?

this has been a bonus dave update