hi everyone

i have two important updates to share

firstly

i have an actually useful piece of new slang for you all

this isn't like "epic" or "awesome" or some generic bullshit like that

in general i discourage the mass distribution of new slang

cuz like fuck you these words already exist

BUT

this term is SO HANDY and SO FUN TO SAY

that i find myself saying it to people

who are like

HEY DAVE WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN

it's nonsense

OK OK OK

many of you may be familiar with the phrase

"six of one, half-dozen of the other"

it's not entirely divorced from

"toe-may-tah toe-mah-toe"

implying that one option

is so similar to the only other available option

that they are essentially the same thing

SO

i have jacy to credit for this

because he started saying it

and i jumped on board

so much so that i am WRITING THIS

RIGHT NOW

instead of going thru all the motion of

"six of one half-dozen of the other"

i have started saying

"six one"

and it's a very quick and appropriate way to say

"hey i really don't give a shit"

anyone who knows me knows that i LOVE to say

"hey i really don't give a shit"

so

people who know me

realize this:

i PREFER saying "six one"

to "hey i really don't give a shit"

get on board america

ok

two

kim calls being on one's period

being on the wolf

and i think that's much better than any other phrasing

(certainly better than "being on one's period!")

that's all

thanks for listening

this has been a breaking news dave update

hi everyone

boy did i just have a weird thought

because of how cows are overmilked

a craving for chocolate milk

could actually be referred to as

"a thirst for bloooooooooooooood"

this has been a nauseating but true dave update

oh shit

dave addendum

i think it's worth mentioning

that i had this thought

because i had a craving for chocolate milk

what's up with me and the sweets lately?

i ate 3 donuts the other night

in two separate places no less

i ate one

at one place

and then i biked to a different place

and ate two

both of these "places"

were donut shops

HEY!

MUST BE THE HONEY!

this has been a fascinating dave addendum

OH WOW!

one final thought

i think i'm going to make dave update t-shirts

they are just gonna say "sparks rule!"

if you want one you know the number

510 575 HISS

this has been a pretty good dave update, i like it!

hi everyone

how's things

i am very very hungover

i try to have a dry month once a year

and this year november was my dry month

and yesterday was december 1st

i forgot that life can feel this HORRIBLE

i didn't even really drink that much

i can barely move though

i slept til noon

and have thrown up once already

i tried to go to the store to get saltines and ginger ale

but barely made it up the stairs

now i am on the couch

thank god jacy is alive and home today for some reason

he went to the store and got me saltines and ginger ale

now i am on the couch

oh whoops i said that

now i am on the couch and i feel like i am in a nursing home

TAKE ME DEATH

TAKE ME NOW

i am being dramatic but i haven't had a hangover this bad in a really long time

let's talk about something else

i got a keyboard yesterday called a music star

oh god i want to vomit

ha ha

kim just called me and apparently i saw her last night?

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

this has been a dave update i'd like to forget

hey y'all

how is "it"

i am bored

i am also looking for a new place to live

i haven't written one of these in awhile

hm

maybe i should just read them more

this last one is wrote is making me laugh out loud

ok

well

see ya

this has been a pretty unnecessary dave update

hey y'all

don't mean to gloat

but TEN STRAIGHT FREECELL WINS

IN A ROW

whut up nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ladies

unemployment has been very productive

i saw the "puppy episode" of ellen

tried FIRE ROASTED peanuts

and i've gotten like, REALLY good at masturbating

been trying a new two-handed technique

i don't recommend it for beginners

but if you can pull it off?

(no pun intended)

shit is GOLD

it's like two depressing people

are fighting over who gets to hold your depressing penis

if your hands are out of sync it helps the illusion even more

this has been a brief but thoroughly repulsive dave update and i'm sorry i wrote it

hey guys!

great news!

the honey nut cherrios bee is getting a make-over!

!!!

also apparently nelly is still alive?

HEY!

MUST BE THE HONEY!

can i get a hash-tag up in this bitch?

this has been an exciting dave announcement

brought to you by #nofuture brand kill-yourselves

#nofuture brand kill-yourselves

for when you've really gotta go!

ha ha

this has been my new favorite dave update

hi everyone

been a minute

nothing really to report

all i wanted to say is i don't understand what my roommates see in miley cyrus

i don't get it

it's probably "ironic"

but i don't even see the irony?

i don't ever want to hear party in the usa again

IT'S NOT FUNNY YOU GUYS

i mean, maybe it is funny?

but i just have known so many white girls that it's not funny any more?

it's like when people karaoke"bohemian rhapsody"

the first time it's like WHOA good one bros!

and then every other time it's like CAN YOU PEOPLE PLEASE QUIET DOWN

i'm trying to read

ok

that's all

fuck everything

this has maybe been a passive aggressive dave update?

hey y'all

this is gonna be such a bullshitty update

not a downdate per say

though life is a total bummer lately

WHATEVER

not really even anyways

i'm just using this opportunity


because sometimes i do stuff

and in the middle of doing it

i realize it's a pretty stupid thing to do

i sort of covered this on an old but classic dave update

YES THE DAVE UPDATE HAS CLASSICS

fuck you if you disagree

i wrote one once, once upon a time ago

that was actually a THREE-PARTER

because i hated the first two

but then something happened to me between writing 2 and 3

WHERE IS THIS STORY GOING????

good god dave

get it together

ok ok

"i was eating cornbread angrily"

REMEMBER?!?!?

text me if you do

510 575 HISS

i won't give you anything but we can share a moment together

a nice tender moment, where the two of us realize ever so briefly that yes

yes

we are NOT alone with our above average memory recall

and our shared ability to read

(english)

(check that)

(english slang)

we are not alone

ok jesus h christ

this is the bullshittiest dave update

i'm looking at my youtube account

video analytics

because i like stats, SUE ME

i don't even want to tell this story any more

you people are the worst

this has been such a bullshitty dave update

hi everyone

still alive

THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN

this might actually be the first real dave "update" update

on the dave update

i'm playing a show on june 22nd

at cca, in the student lounge apparently?

in san francisco

where the hell is cca in sf NEways?

(SEE WHAT I DID THERE)

hang on guys!

i'll google it

wait here

jesus christ

this is harder than i expected

god i fuckin suck at the internet

ok

so i think the student lounge is somewhere in the 1111 8th st building

remember

that's 4 #1s on 8th street

not 4 #8s on 1st street

nor 8 #4s on valencia

(which'll cost you 4 $5s)

(plus the cost of the hotel room)

ok!

i'm pretty sure i just guaranteed that

even if you wanted to come and see me

you will not be able to remember the address

well

i hope you still come

whoever you are

(unless you are one of like 3 people who know damn well i don't want to see you)

(i'm looking at you vincent gallo)

(not unless you have my $25 you owe me)

(prick)

this is probably hiss & hum's last waltz

ha ha

that sounds so melodramatic but it's probably true

i don't mean like

"i'm hangin up the ol' banjo"

"someone shoot me in the face like old yeller"

i just mean like

"i'm thinking about selling all my shit and leaving the bay area"

god that sounds so melodramatic too

WHY CAN'T I DO ANYTHING NOT MELODRAMATIC?

IS IT BECAUSE I LOVE CAPS LOCK?

SOMEONE SHOOT ME IN THE FACE LIKE OLD YELLER

god fucking damn you homeless people in the alley

stop stealing the copper off our pg&e transformer

our lights have been dimming on and off for like 2 months now

if anyone is wondering why i'm thinking about leaving the bay area

please skip back up to the part of this dave update

just past the CAPS LOCK

and you can probably fill in the rest of the blanks

i'm pretty sick of living in the war zone district of a city that is turning to shit

i moved away from arizona because i wanted stuff to do

not because i was sick of living way too far from pricks

not like vincent gallo pricks

(even though there are definitely some brats here who owe me some money)

but just brats

i saw someone on bart today

playing with his ipad

wearing an outfit that definitely cost more than my wardrobe

but also nike's with like, goofy blue and orange colors

i felt like i could read his mind

and all it had to say was

"jeez i hope everyone can see how totally awesome i look right now"

 "maybe i should take a picture of myself and post it"

"with a comment that says 'beautiful day in san francisco!  who's down 2 hang?????'"

"also, i wish i could suck my own dick"

i should make an app called "suck ur dick"

where you can make a slideshow of all the hot selfies you've taken all your life

and you can watch them while you jack off

and when you cum it automatically takes a selfie and sends it to all your friends

hahahahahahahahahahaahahahaha

BEAUTIFUL DAY IN SAN FRANCISCO!

WHO'S DOWN 2 HANG????

hahahahahahahahahhaha

I AM SCREAMING WITH LAUGHTER

I AM SCREAMING

I AM SCREAMING FOR ICE CREAM

I AM SLOWLY LOOSENING MY GRIP ON REALITY

I AM STILL TALKING IN CAPS LOCK

SUCK A DICK SAN FRANCISCO

SUCK UR OWN DICK

phew

sorry about that

got carried away

so

anyhoo

this saturday

no idea what time

somewhere in the building on 666 2nd ave?

call me

510 575 HISS

this has been a dave "update" update

hellllllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooo

i am in a weiiiiiiiiiiiiiiird mood

very distracted

i feel like maybe i have a lot to say but don't really know or care about any of it enough to actually devote any analysis to any of it

like when you go to a buffet and think

"oh that looks good"

"oh that looks good"

"oh that looks good"

and then you get to the cashier and you realize there's nothing on your plate

WOW I JUST CAME UP WITH THAT SHIT!

holy hole-y baloney chonies

oh jeez these weird dave updates are the WORST

hey i wanna go out of town this week

if you are reading this and would like to host me please get in touch

and we'll make that shit HAPPEN

probably not a great idea to put that out there in the middle of a weird dave update

because i'm sure everyone who reads that will think

"yeah, i really want this guy to come over and talk to himself on my rug"

but WHAT THE FUCK EVER

OK

hey here's something

don't join facebook

like, last month or something

after deleting my account like 2 years ago

suddenly BOOM

it's just BACK

as though i never left

if anyone from facebook is reading this

it is totally unacceptable for a company your size//level of incomprehensible influence to not have a phone line

i mean i've had a hell of a time trying to fucking E-MAIL YOU

if you have facebook, take my dave challenge

log-out

and try to contact them

it's very difficult if you don't have an account!

i've tried several variations of "reporting a bug"

they make you jump thru all kinds of hoops before you can just tell them what the problem is

and you will never ever ever hear a response

i'm actually considering driving down there

but honestly the thought of it upsets me so much that i'm worried i would bring a weapon

like a big honkin bat

and i would be famous for being that crazy guy who smashed a bunch of cars in facebook's parking lot

the surveillance footage would probably go viral

because i would definitely bring a boom box

and some tall boys

and probably take my shirt off too

god the more i type about this the more i think it's a great idea

ok that's enough

i don't know where any of this shit is going

i don't even remember what i've just written

this has been the dave update

hello again

young davers

here's another joke for you

hm

ok

here we go

this is a new "idea"

which means i don't really know if it's funny or not

probably isn't yet

ok

my sense of humor is maybe a little weird

sometimes what i think is funny just bums people out

the other day i was talking to this girl

who was telling me about how she'd gotten up early that day

and had gotten no sleep the night before

but she still felt really energetic

and full of verve

(she actually didn't say "full of verve")

(to her discredit)

so i replied

"yeah"

"sometimes life doesn't make any sense"

she looked at me as though i was having some sort of a personal tragedy

but really all i was trying to say was like

"sure, life's weird, can i just get my croissanwich or what?"

"y'all do still serve breakfast all day right?"

ok

i have to poop

but i feel like this update is a gyp

since that's not a brand new joke

i'm gonna try and write one while pooping

BEE ARE BEE

ok back

the one i came up with is so horrible

i'm going to write it

and then read it

and then probably delete it

after i confirm that it's for sure stupid

ok

i like getting older, i feel like the older i get the less stupid shit bothers me

also i feel like i believe in less stupid shit as i age

maybe that's why i have more irregular bowel movements now

because i'm getting less comfortable being totally full of shit

WAKKA WAKKA

ok i'm not deleting it but i'm never telling that one again

that's been your wakka wakka moment of the day

and this has been a so-so dave update

please be patient with us as we return to form

hi everyone

WOW

it's been awhile since i've done one of these

a LOT has changed recently

for one

i am unemployed as a mutha fucka

510 575 HISS if you have a job offer

also i still really don't have a lot of phone numbers

marissa magic i'm looking at you

sorry to call ya out by name but there ya go

i'm gonna go eat right now but i wanted to write something first

because i've been doing stand-up again but have trouble remembering jokes and what not

so i thought to myself

"i should write these down or something"

but then i thought

"nah"

"but i still should like, write something"

...

and here we are

...

that's honestly my thought process

sigh

ok

well i want to write more jokes

so now i am toying with the idea of coming up with a joke right now

oh!

ok

i'm gonna take another pass at a joke that nick stone sort of wrote?

this is more complicated than it sounds

(sorry again to call out nick by name)

 i said something true

and then nick said that's a funny joke by itself

then he put it together

and i said it was just ok

so here's my attempt at it

which i am doing RIGHT NOW

THE DAVE UPDATE

YOUR HOME FOR REAL TIME CREATIVITY

i'm unemployed right now

i know i seem very hire-able

but yesterday i tried to write a dozen punch-lines for the following set-up:

"i lost my job recently, my boss and i had a difference of opinion"

i was gonna perform at an open mic

and i thought it would be funny to tell the same joke 12 times

but

i only wrote 2

and then i fell asleep

and slept through the open mic

hm

STILL NEEDS WORK NICK

my boss and i had a difference of opinion

he thought i was supposed to be a sales rep

and i thought my desk looked better as a blanket fort

my boss and i had a difference of opinion

he thought the work day started at 9 am

and i think it's unethical for anyone to be at work while mcdonald's is still serving breakfast

my boss and i had a difference of opinion

he thought a professional appearance was important

and i think bermuda shorts look dope

my boss and i had a difference of opinion

he thought a mascot was not really necessary for our company's image

and i thought it'd be ok to just go ahead and order a live tiger

my boss and i had a difference of opinion

he thought i should be a more aggressive sales person

and i actually thought i was the receptionist?

my boss and i had a difference of opinion

he thought the workplace should be a safe place, free of harassment

and my lawyer has advised me not to finish this set-up

HALFWAY THERE

this dave update has been naming names

HI EVERYONE

I FEEL LIKE I JUST DID THIS

BUT MY PHONE BROKE AND I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET MY CONTACTS OFF OF IT

SO PLEASE TEXT YOUR NAME TO 510 575 HISS

THANKS

THIS HAS BEEN A DAVE ANNOUNCEMENT

hi y'all

what's SHAKIN

FACON BACON

feelin' grand this evernang

i have two thoughts i wanted to share

ONE!

i had a tv show idea awhile ago

called STREET SMARTS

that was all shop-lifting tips

i never got around to doing it

OBVIOUSLY

but i've been re-evaluating the idea

...

well

i'll be honest

i came on here to talk more about this idea

but right now i don't really want to

i don't know why

but something's going on

WHATEVER

nothing bad or anything

just still

processing

the idea

also i'm kind of too tired to talk about it

WHY AM I STILL UP

who can say

ok

2?

hm

what was 2?

oh dern

i don't know

oh!

it was about having a plant

i don't know why but i really love having this plant

herbie

herbert paco the pervert taco

(that's an amalgamation of like 4 different name ideas)

(from different people)

(amalgamation?)

(just keep writin maaaaaaaan)

hm

OK FUCK THIS I'M TOO TIRED

later kiddies

kiddies?

ew

later?

BAH

good bye friendly readers.

this has been an odd dave update

hello

being unemployed is awesome

yesterday i fell asleep with one of the cats on me

and i woke up with a different cat on me

being able to out-nap a cat

is a serious fuckin merit badge

BLACK DIAMOND SHIT RIGHT THERE

this has been a dave update

hi guys

so

listen

i'm quitting this whole pope thing

andy just told me that i guess there's a black guy in the running???

i don't know who's gonna vote for me instead of a black guy

so i'm withdrawing from the race

good luck black guy

BLACK!

POPE!

BLACK!

POPE!

this has been a dave endorsement

HI GUYS

the pope is retiring

people are wondering who the next pope should be

my thoughts?

give me the job

here are my qualifications

- i'm not 100000000 years old

finally the church can cut back on their holy adult diaper budget!

- went to a catholic high school

so i know that going to a catholic high school fuckin' SUCKS

AND

i have some great ideas on how to fix that!

idea #1

how 'bout we cool it on all this god stuff???

BOoooooo-RINGggggggggggg

- I DON'T MOLEST CHILDREN

have any of the other candidates even talked about this yet?

NO

BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL CHILD MOLESTERS

- i don't believe in god

now, i know what you're thinking

how can we elect an athiest to be the next pope???

well

since i don't believe in god

that means i'm UNBIASED

and it's about time we got all these special interests//lobbyists out of the church!

you hear that "god"???

A D'ESTROYER PAPACY IS NOT FOR SALE

NOT!

FOR!

SALE!

NOT!

FOR!

SALE!

- would abolish church

BOOM

vote d'estroyer for pope

i'm dave d'estroyer and i approve this dave update

hi everyone!

been a minute

i've spent the last 30 minutes thinking about what i would like to eat for dinner

i think i've decided on "something delicious"

seems like a good choice

maybe something with rice in it?

not sure

eggplant sounds good

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE

JUST GO GET A PIZZA

that way when you get stranded on a desert island

AS IS INEVITABLE

you'll have plenty of fat to sustain yourself

and you'll be able to die a long boring painful and sunny death

HAPPY, PAPPY?

TOUGH TITTIES KIDDY

WIN OR BE GLUE

this has been a only slightly delirious dave update

hello again

sometimes when i'm at work i just read "random posts" of the dave update

my relationship with myself is probably not unlike lena dunham's relationship with us weekly

because i bet she'd talk nothing but shit about it

but she reads it ALL THE TIME

and hates herself for it

not sure why i'm picking lena dunham here for this analogy

hm

young davers

was that an analogy//metaphor//simile?

I KNOW THE ANSWER

(or i think i do)

(but now i'm second guessing myself)

and if you do too that number again is 510 575 HISS

1st right answer gets tickets to winger, this weekend at sleep train pavilion

ha ha

I WISH

1st right answer gets to share a bottle of wine with me

drinking more wine lately

today i feel a little more crazy than usual

but probably not because of wine

probably because life is hard to understand

and also because apparently ryan gosling wore this same outfit better than me

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW US WEEKLY?

life is not an outfit-wearing contest

siiiiiiiigh

the new year has started with me crying a lot

but not in a sad way or anything

in a "wait, am i crying?  why the hell am i crying suddenly?" kind of way

ugh my hands are so fucking cold in this stupid fucking office

HOPE I DON'T CRY ABOUT IT

siiiiiiiiigh AGAIN

the 301st dave update is nowhere near as good as the 300th dave update

what's wrong with me today?

if you know the answer to that

510 575 HISS

1st right answer gets absolutely anything they want

that doesn't involve me cutting off a body part

that's it, that's my only limitation

i don't want to cut off a toe because you came up with a dumb joke to that question

(but i also totally do want to hear that dumb joke)

(make it funny, bitches)

(that's the name of a game show i came up with)

(competitive riffing)

(that's all i'll tell you for now)

ok

practice makes perfect

but apparently not when it comes to dave updating

this has been an imperfect dave update

hello everyone

been awhile

BUT WAIT

i can explain

for months now i've been wanting to take a picture

of me jumping out of a cake

to celebrate the  THREE HUNDREDTH DAVE UPDATE

WHICH IS THIS ONE

YOU ARE READING

*RIGHT FUCKING NOW!*

i know right?

so exciting al roker sharted

HEY

for the record

i think it's FUCKED that people are making fun of al roker for sharting

i mean COME ON PEOPLE

for ONE

as i have learned as i get older

ADULTS SHIT THEIR PANTS

IT FUCKING HAPPENS

not to me yet

YET

fucking YET

it WILL happen someday

maybe even today

hm

except i don't have to poop right now

WAIT

i don't want the 300th dave update to be a rant about why it's ok for al roker to shit his pants

al

you look great

we love you

and everyone who is poking fun at you will get theirs

(likely by shitting their pants in a particularly embarrassing situation)

(KARMA BITCHES)

been watching a lot of party down lately

KARMA ROCKET

ha ha

you get that reference if you have been watching a lot of party down lately

OK

so i wanted to take a picture of me jumping out of a cake

but shit was like, too much work

ughhhhh

workkkkkkk

grosssssssss

so instead i'm gonna just tell my new favorite joke

BUT STAY TUNED

because it's my 300th dave update

BUT YOU GET THE PRESENTS!

why?

BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING GENEROUS MOTHER FUCKER

THAT'S WHY

FUCK!

i mean why even ask that question????

now you're making me feel weird for giving you all shit for free

like it's like a weird thing to do

like when you're at a restaurant and you're like

"hm maybe i'll try a little ketchup on my eggs"

and the person you're eating with is like

"ew, why?"

and you're like

"oh ha ha um i was just kidding"

"gross, right?  wouldn't that be um, gross?"

but SECRETLY

you thought it might be good

GUESS WHAT YOUNG DAVERS

it IS good

and i'm giving you presents

AND DON'T ASK QUESTIONS

don't interrupt either

so many people keep interrupting me lately

and i've decided i'm gonna call people out on it

and i'm gonna call people out on it

by saying this:

"HEY!"

"i'm dave d'estroyer"

"shut the fuck up"

"cuz i got some brilliant shit to say"

"have you written 300 whatever-yr-stupid-name-is updates?"

"NOOOOOOOOO"

"so put a sock in it mr president"

i hope that's a search keyword

i hope people google "put a sock in it mr president"

and find my blog

i also hope those people are not in the secret service

OK

my new favorite joke

is maybe the second dumbest joke i've ever written

i'm gonna tell the DUMBEST joke first

even though it doesn't really work as well in text

it still works sort of i think

"i wonder if the people at NPR's All Things Considered"

"have ever considered replacing the horn sounds in their theme song"

"with fart sounds"

"because technically that's a thing"

"and i really think they should consider it"

"'hello this is ari shapiro and welcome to all things considered'"

"FART FART FART FART"

"FART FART FART FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT"

"(FART)"

"'but first, this morning's headlines'"

OK NOW THE SECOND DUMBEST JOKE I'VE EVER WRITTEN

"i think it's likely that the day i was born"

"the doctor woke up and thought"

"'i don't know why but i get the feeling'"

"'that today's gonna be a really shitty dave'"

BOOM

TWO DUMB JOKES

for the price of FUCKING NONE

I'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR 300 UPDATES

YOU'RE FUCKING WELCOME

call me today

510 575 HISS

and congratulate me on 300 dave updates

and if you do i will let you know where i am celebrating

and if you join me everything is ON ME

because i'm dave d'estroyer

and i love you

and i have more money right now than i normally do

and i don't really expect anyone to call

but you bet your boots i'll be somewhere

eating mozzarella sticks

and asking people if they know who i am

THIS HAS BEEN THE 300TH FUCKING DAVE UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH