hello there

i know i said i would leave the last dave update up for awhile

but i felt like writing something

sooooooo

reminder

please text me your name at 510 575 HISS

so that i have your phone number

(if you'd like me to have it that is)

yesterday i heard an episode of the pod f tomcast

where he was auctioning things off for charity

and some lucky winner won a drunk dial from him

where he would remain in character

as an ex-boyfriend who was maybe trying to get back together

WOW

that PFT is one funny SOB

i had a weird dream last night

where i started hanging out at support groups for meth addicts

i've never done meth bee tea dubs

doesn't really appeal to me

i'm already pretty fuckin wound up thank you much

but i actually did know a lot of "meth users" in arizona

i put meth users in quotes up there

i feel like the people i hung out with were more "meth users" than "meth heads"

does that make sense?

i got called out for saying that too much once

this is a tangent story

because i do want to finish the one about the dream

it was just weird and put me in a bad mood this morning

BIG SURPRISE THERE

anyways

i often say "does that make sense" when i'm explaining something

because i'm unconfident in my ability to explain anything

but once someone was like "why do you always say that to me?"

"it makes me feel like you think i'm retarded or something"

that actually blindsided me a little!

because here i am thinking

"jeez i'm such a retard, nothing i say makes any sense"

and then the person who is hearing me is thinking that i talk this way because i think OTHER people are dumb

i believe that's what the kids might call a "fail"?

i'm pretty over that meme but sometimes it's just the right word

does that make sense?

(nyuk nyuk nyuk)

anyways

so i was at one of these NA-type meetings

and the leader of the meeting or whatever

what's he called?  group leader maybe?

who knows

moderator??

that's probably it!

the moderator sort of points at me and is like

"would you like to introduce yourself to the group?"

i try to get out of it but he insists that i talk

so i tell everyone that i'm embarrassed to be there

because i've never done meth

but i told them that i was really lonely

and in arizona i could always find a meth head who needed a friend

(that part is only true in the dream)

(meth heads are not generally very friendly)

(well they are actually)

(but only if you have some meth)

(or are willing to listen to a lot of bullshit)

so i decided to come here

because it was the only idea that i had

and the moderator was like

"well...that's sad"

"but"

"you can't really be here if you're not an addict in recovery"

so i left

but before i did i said

"sorry to intrude but i'm gonna wait outside"

"and if any of you all has an idea on what else i could try"

"please let me know"

and then i walked out and it was snowing outside

JUST MY LUCK RIGHT

so i tried to make snowmen but it was too watery so i just got cold

then i woke up

WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN?????

are you trying to bum me out?

BECAUSE IT'S WORKING

you dick

i have a new phone

text me your name

goodbye

this has been another dave down-date