hi there
it's calmed down a little at work
and i felt bad about today's dave update being a total gyp
jip?
i think gyp
i think it's actually a racist term
like "those damn gypsies ripped me off again"
"whatta gyp"
i mean i'm not even gonna look this one up
because if you combine the word gypsy and rip off
what do you get?
(ok, take away the word off)
anyways
this is a really appropriate tangent to start off on
because the reason i wanted to do a real dave update
is because i was walking outside
and i smelled this particular odor
which always makes me think the exact same racist thought
which is really fucked up
but i always think it automatically
it's from my childhood
my brother was a chess champion
and always used to play at the jewish community center
they had chess nights there weekly
and it was RANK
it smelled so gross
it was like smelling under-ripe babies
or maybe under-ripe old people
i don't know
it was just a mix of BO and ROTTEN
i was really young in this memory
like too young to really understand race or anything
i remember a different racist thought i had at that age
where i was on the swim team
and i had a contest with my friends to see who would get the most tan over the summer
and of course the black kid won
i thought he must be hawaiian because when garfield went to hawaii all the people there were darker
i mean I DIDN'T KNOW!
i grew up in arizona
black people weren't around!
no one with black skin thinks to themselves
"let's move somewhere dry and hot"
"and redneck and shitty"
"so we can get called racial slurs as we roast in the sun"
well i guess maybe that kid on the swim team's parents thought that
WHATEVER
anyways
the jewish community center smelled awful
and i never realized that that particular odor
probably had more to do with the fact that this was where nerdy sweaty chess enthusiasts
went to go meet all their peers
and drool over the one lady who showed up
and i just figured
"well"
"this is the only place i've ever been that is explicitly 'jewish'"
"and this is really the only place where i've smelled this smell"
"so i guess this is how jewish people smell"
"man, jewish people stink"
(i hope that comes up on my search keywords this week)
so
obviously
i no longer think that smell has anything to do with being jewish
but occassionally
(like for instance when i'm walking outside of my work today)
i'll smell that particular odor
and i'll think to myself, automatically
"smells like a jew out here"
THERE IT IS YOUNG DAVERS
MY MOST SECRET RACIAL PREJUDICE
PLEASE SEND ALL ANGRY E-MAILS TO:
IHATEYOURARTSCHOOL AT GMAIL
this has been a reprehensible dave update
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