hi there

you know what time it is?

young davers?

it's TIME FOR CHILI

yes!

TIME FOR CHILI

i can't make chili without saying that

and i can't say that without thinking of bart simpson

ok young davers

it's time for chili

number one rule for chili

or i mean like

"A" rule for chili

"one" rule for cooking chili

is you need a big pot

if that pot has a lid?

even better

also "another" rule for cooking chili?

you need some time

chili tastes best when it's slow cooked

i dunno why

i think honestly it's because i usually have a beer or two while cooking

and if i'm slow cooking i have three beers or four

or many many more

and god damn is this chili delicious

y'all are in for a treat!

it's time for chili

ok

you've got your pot AND lid

(hopefully)

ok

get an onion

maybe like a big one

cut that shit up

ok

well

hold on

i feel like this is gonna take forever if i describe EVERY step to you

have you had chili before?

so you know that there's not like a whole pristine onion just in the middle of it all

BUT

do you know how to cut an onion without crying?

because I DO

hm

i admit though

i have no idea how to describe my method

without any pictures

well fuck it then

cry your way thru cutting that fuckin onion

ok here's a tip

remember that lid?

ok ok

well um wait

oil the pot

duh

put oil in it

like, some

not that much

enough that the bottom is like covered and maybe you can swish it around a lil bit

just a lil

then put spices in the oil

i do the spices first but only like

the *spicy* spices

and actually sometimes i put them in after the onion

cuz i like watching the onion get sort of caked by the spices

jeez

i may not have time for this whole recipe y'all

i'm at work right now

and i only have like half an hour left on my shift

and like i have to do SOMEthing

so uh ok

this'll have to be a cliff hanger

i really hope you haven't started cooking yet

cuz it's probably gonna be like weeks until i finish this recipe

this has been part one of a dave recipe

hi there

it's me dave

i have a very simple recipe for you today

it's an egg in a hole

or an egg in jail

or a birds' nest

i dunno it has a lot of names

you probably already know how to cook it

i mean it's a fried egg

in bread

did i just give you the recipe right there?

you can figure the rest out i think

pretty much the only tricky part about this recipe

is that you have to cut a hole in the middle of the bread

and then crack the egg so it drops right in that hole

it's not that hard

sometimes you fuck it up

sometimes when you flip it you break the yolk

it's still food though

i mean sometimes it's just shitty food

or food-that-is-less-good

you can do some variations on it

sometimes i make it on a bed of *dirty greens*

which is a recipe i'm not ready to write out yet

sometimes i make it with fake bacon on top

i mean what do you feel like eating???

cook that

and eat it

why are you even here?

.

.

.

i'm sorry i'm just frustrated right now

life doesn't always go right

sometimes even when it's fine

or like

"fine"

you wind up like one bad social interaction away from suicidal idealation

ugh life is so difficult and frustrating

i get fucking sick of it sometimes

ugh

cook a bird's nest

i do it with like, a thick slice of french bread

oh!

one good tip

if you keep the "hole" that you cut out of the bread

you can put that on the pan

next to the bird's nest

and then you can peek at that lil piece of bread and see how well it's toasted

it's best to not fuck with the bird's nest itself

until it's like, *ready* to be flipped

so yah use that lil piece

cool

now life is fine

this has been a dave recipe