hi there

i love stevie nicks's coke eyes in this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEi7GPkxfsE

you've probably already seen it

it's so comforting though

they're not like desparate coke eyes

they're the eyes of a "believer"

what she believes in, i don't know

but who cares

everything is fake

i think somedays the real challenge to live is getting up in the morning and pretending to give a shit

like, the best people are the ones that do that

probably the worst too

who knows

i heard about a study from a long time ago

where they asked people questions that they thought were

1

universal

but also 2

things people would be unlikely to admit to

obviously there's a serious problem with the material

it would be difficult to place any real scientific value on the results of a study like this

but who cares

it was interesting

the questions they used were:

"have you ever fantasized about raping someone (or being raped)?"

and

"have you ever enjoyed a bowel movement?"

(for me, yes and yes)

they asked these questions to subjects

and then they asked more questions to help judge their relative levels of happiness

they found that people who answered no to both of these questions

were not only 1

missing out on the exciting world of bowel movements

but also 2

reported much higher levels of happiness

why is that do you think?

seriously, i want a fucking answer

i know for a fact people read this blog

and i know for a fact that 99% of the time i ask a question

or have a contest

or offer my entire readership breakfast on me

or post my number 10000000 times in a post

NO ONE RESPONDS

which is bullshit

you know what it makes me feel like?

the lunatic talking to themselves at the bus stop

not waiting for a bus

just looking for someone to acknowledge their humanity

am i really typing this?

am i really posting this for anyone in the fucking world to see?

empirically i can't really say for sure

if someone asks a question and doesn't get a response

do they exist?

get deep on that shit for awhile young davers

i think it's because the people who can't admit that sometimes it feels amazing to pee

or who have never allowed themselves to fantasize about the sexual potential of a totally fucked up act

(this is a whole other dave update i think)

(i have to admit)

(even though i feel like rape fantasies are not really that deviant an act)

(it feels very awkward to admit to having them without being able to mention)

("but only in like, a role-playing context")

(whatever)

those people are just better at fooling themselves

people like me?

who can admit to embarrassing parts of their personality?

they are more likely to acknowledge difficult truths

like

the world is fucked

nothing means anything

etc etc

acknowledgement doesn't mean resolution

not sure if i said exactly what i meant up there but i'm sticking to it

so if you're aware of maybe your "limitations" as a human being

you're less likely to be happy

unless you can resolve yourself to your limitations

(weird fucking grammar in this dave update)

"you say you want your freedom?"

"well who am i to keep you down"

i wonder how many people are going to find this dave update

by googling the term "rape fantasy"

guess i'll find out

this has been the dave update