hi there

i know

twice in one day

very exciting

i just had an idea that i liked though

i'm sure this will be another idea that never comes to fruition

like my plans to start an amateur naked therapy practice

(not as pervy as it sounds)

ANYWAYS

young davers

it probably won't surprise you to hear

that i am often sad and at home doing nothing

perhaps you have found yourself in the same position?

well

IF SO

please call or text 510 575 HISS

with the message "sad plans"

and if i'm available we'll come up with something we can do

that won't necessarily cheer us up but will at least give us grumpy company

ha ha

grumpy company

I MADE THAT UP

you can also text me with "grumpy company"

same diff

ok

it's not amateur naked therapy but it's a start

finally dave d'estroyer is giving back to the depressed community

this has been a bonus dave udpate

hi there

it's dave

i had an idea last night but i don't remember it now

oh

this isn't it but this is sort of funny

i watched a movie called

"ORCA - the killer whale"

it was INTENSE

and hilarious

but it needed a better soundtrack

because if this film is any indication

killer whales are gangsta as FUCK

no joke

this dude kills a killer whale

who winds up being pregnant

(HOLY SHIT)

(the baby falls out of the whale's inverted corpse)

and the father/husband/whateverthefuck

sees it all

goes APESHIT

and taunts the guy who did it until he comes back out to sea to FIGHT

but the soundtrack was all strings and dull

(oh bo derek was in it too, she gets her leg bitten off)

(no perfect 10 now, eh bo???)

(eh?)

(eh?)

so i want to make a new soundtrack for ORCA the killer whale

that just sounds like some ghetto beatz

because that would make a good movie

EVEN BETTER

outside of that i think i have little else to say

lately i am very depressed but what else is new

holy shit

i thought i just saw a black cat in our office but i think it was my hair

i wish it was a cat

truckers say if you see the black dog

it's already too late

WHATEVER

kill me already you stupid fake cat

do yr worst

this has been the dave update