first things first

RIP poly styrene

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2011/apr/26/poly-styrene-obituary

total bummer

x-ray spex rule

i'm sure everyone already knows that but ari up and poly styrene?

serious losses

two bold women who absolutely were their own people

their own inventions

i feel like you don't see that any more

who today is like either of them?

i honestly don't know

i think art these days is so dependent on "reaction"

that it's difficult to find an earnest weirdo

and poly styrene was definitely one

more so than the more generic punk icons

sid vicious i'm looking at you

anyways

i hope in the future

in this wave of outlets

but draught of attention

we'll find a new way to be ourselves

i'm having a dry week this week

due in part to the return of the MRSA

but also just because i'm overdue

i drink a bunch

last night was the first time in awhile that i've gone to bed without having a beer or two

and the fact that it was actually really hard to go to sleep seems to suggest that i'm doing the right thing

i have a LOT of trouble falling asleep

and silent and dark is one of the places i feel least comfortable

i didn't listen to music last night, i totally should have

gas is some of my favorite music to sleep to

i need to get those cds back from my roommate

like NOW

hm what else

oh!

i have honey on my butt right now

ha ha

nick told me something about manuka honey

being a natural antibiotic or something

i've been to the doctor like 800 times for this thing

and for real

fuck doctors

i mean not really, i have a lot of respect for doctors

but i've been unable to get anyone to actually take this thing seriously

which is infuriating

because 1) this shit HURTS

i have a pretty high threshold for pain but this shit HURTS

2) this type of infection is apparently possibly fatal

i did some research on it after nick told me about this honey

so it's like, hey doc, might be dying here, do you give a shit?

"nope, not really dave"

i mean i'm not really exaggerating the level of disinterest i've gotten here

disinterest is probably the wrong word

but i've seen actually 5 doctors about this

and only one of the five actually saw me for longer than 5 minutes

the other 4 just took a look and were like, oh that's nothing to worry about

take these pills, use this soap, you'll be fine

and i reply that's what the other doctors have said,

and that's what i've done

and i'm not fine, i'm in a lot of pain

i think i've done a pretty good job of telling doctors that this thing is more serious than they seem to think

but DOCTORS KNOW BEST right?

maybe that's why nearly a year later my fucking ass still hurts

UGH

annoying

anyways

i'm sitting on honey right now

it's weird

whatever

this is sort of funny

when i bought the honey at rainbow

the cashier was really really cute

and also wearing a cute dress

so i said, "hey i really like your dress, it's very cute"

and we chatted awhile

and she saw that i was buying this honey

and she told me a lot about it

and while i was really impressed by her extensive knowledge of manuka honey

(for real, i was very impressed, i don't know anything about anything)

(and she knows a LOT about a honey i've only just found out exists)

(IMPRESSIVE)

at the same time i was like

"let's please stop talking about this honey"

"because i'm going to go home and smear it on my disgusting infected ass"

"and i'd really much rather talk about your dress"

"and not about the newest addition to the 'reasons dave is gross and undateable' list"

ha ha

510 575 HISS ladies ha ha

let's see what else

dear world

you can't force yourself into someone's life

no matter how much you care for them

and how much they seem to need something

i've been trying to remind myself that lately

it's been hard though because even knowing that the above is true

i firmly believe that people will not be my friend unless i hold them down

twist their arm

and shout at them until they realize that i'm not such a bad guy

again, i really don't think i'm overstating here

i don't know why i give off such awful first impressions

but people don't like me when they first meet me

i've had this told to me by SO many people

i don't know what people think of me when they first see me

but it's definitely not positive

and i'll be honest

i think i'm a bit of a bummer

i think i'm needy and overdramatic

but outside of that i think i'm a pretty good person

i mean sort of

i don't know

maybe i'm not

probably not

good people probably don't lose friends at the pace that i do

and good people probably make friends more quickly than i do

because they're good people, you know?

ugh

anyways

you can't force yourself into people's lives

that's all

this has been the dave update