hi there

quick dave update because the other one was not good i don't think

i have another joke for you all

all my young davers

nobody likes this joke but me

oh!

i have two jokes for you actually

both based on true stories

i'm gonna tell the one nobody likes first

i actually got a bad fortune in a fortune cookie once

it read:

"your judgement is a little off at this time"

i couldn't believe it but then i thought

"well, i mean, i did eat that cookie"

"maybe it's right"

nobody ever laughs at that

now this one

i saw my psychiatrist the other day

he had me on a new antidepressant

and was asking about side effects, etc

finally he asked if there had been any sexual side effects

i thought about it for a minute

and replied

"you know, it hasn't come up"

(i may have already told you that one before, sorry)

this has been a bonus dave update

hi there

it's me

feel pretty out of it right now

also jesus

when was the last time i showered?

i'm disgusting

i'm the WORST

ha ha

this song description is almost a haiku

"a small gong hit with a deer horn stick,

played by nine people while walking in a circle"

that's pretty close

"a small gong hit with

a deer horn stick played by nine

people while walking"

deep shit right?

bah

you people don't "get it"

NOBODY "GETS IT"

i'm gonna set my hair on fire you FUCKS

this has been a weird dave update