hi

i don't think i want to do this any more

i feel awful and i don't think any real happiness awaits me

i can't stop expecting changes and it's always disappointing

i'm exhausted all the time and i don't want to move, eat, anything

people just glare at me when i go out

i feel 100% worthless to the world but people in particular

i don't know why anyone would want me around but i still expect that someone would want to

for some unknown reason

but no one does

that's the fucking bullshit logic i've had my whole life

i can't handle it, i'm sick sick sick of it

i hope the stupid world does end today

and the earthquake happens right fucking here

so i'm the first person to fall through the cracks and splat face first in the deepest depths of hell

which i assume has probably lava for floors?

if it's in the earth i mean it must

probably isn't though, seems too small

we're already overcrowded up here and there's MUCH more space

maybe satan is just better with feng shui

maybe the whole pentagram thing is just a design motif that we haven't figured out yet

in which case i really can't wait for hell because i love seeing what other people do to save space

(i was trying not to say "interior design" in that last sentence)

(not so into "interior design" as a blanket topic)

(but i do like seeing what people do with space)

(i could use some tips for real)

(i mean none of you have seen my room probably but there's a lot of stuff here)

(and i do okay with what i've got)

(but i always like a good tip)

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

looks like a wall

this has been maybe the last dave update