hello again dear readers

it's me

(dave)

i have another story for you

this one is about the PHONE

i HATE talking on the phone now

mostly because i don't hear that well these days

(this is part of why i call you all "young davers")

(sight's not so good either!)

(it appears i have a lifespan that matches my intelligence)

but when i was younger i talked on the phone a lot

i lived at least a half an hour drive from any of my friends

and didn't really get to hang out with them that often anyways

so

to the telephone!

holy busy signal batman

bleh

sorry

bad joke

anyways

when i first started talking on the phone i didn't really understand that phone calls could be short

so any time i would call someone i would also talk with them for awhile

even if i was just asking about like homework or something stupid

one time i called my friend

i feel weird about writing his name because i haven't talked to him in ages

and what if he googles himself and finds this?

i mean not that i wouldn't want to hear from him or anything

hm

i'm so torn right now

i don't really want to put his name but his name is also kind of hilarious

ugh

oh!

if you want to know his name you can e-mail me or call//text

perfect

anyways

i called him to ask for something

and i asked for it

and then i was like

"so how are you?"

he said "uh"

"fine"

and then there was a really awkward silence

and as i tried to think of other things to talk about

(even though i too had little interest in continuing the conversation)

my friend said

"ok dave i'm gonna hang up now"

this was REVELATORY

i remember thinking this EXACT thought

"you can do that?!?!?!????"

and i remember saying

"ok!  awesome!  see ya at school!"

VERY EXCITEDLY

it was like i was suddenly a FREE MAN

is this story funny?

who can say?

you!

let me know

genuinely curious

this has been the dave update