hi everyone

still alive

THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN

this might actually be the first real dave "update" update

on the dave update

i'm playing a show on june 22nd

at cca, in the student lounge apparently?

in san francisco

where the hell is cca in sf NEways?

(SEE WHAT I DID THERE)

hang on guys!

i'll google it

wait here

jesus christ

this is harder than i expected

god i fuckin suck at the internet

ok

so i think the student lounge is somewhere in the 1111 8th st building

remember

that's 4 #1s on 8th street

not 4 #8s on 1st street

nor 8 #4s on valencia

(which'll cost you 4 $5s)

(plus the cost of the hotel room)

ok!

i'm pretty sure i just guaranteed that

even if you wanted to come and see me

you will not be able to remember the address

well

i hope you still come

whoever you are

(unless you are one of like 3 people who know damn well i don't want to see you)

(i'm looking at you vincent gallo)

(not unless you have my $25 you owe me)

(prick)

this is probably hiss & hum's last waltz

ha ha

that sounds so melodramatic but it's probably true

i don't mean like

"i'm hangin up the ol' banjo"

"someone shoot me in the face like old yeller"

i just mean like

"i'm thinking about selling all my shit and leaving the bay area"

god that sounds so melodramatic too

WHY CAN'T I DO ANYTHING NOT MELODRAMATIC?

IS IT BECAUSE I LOVE CAPS LOCK?

SOMEONE SHOOT ME IN THE FACE LIKE OLD YELLER

god fucking damn you homeless people in the alley

stop stealing the copper off our pg&e transformer

our lights have been dimming on and off for like 2 months now

if anyone is wondering why i'm thinking about leaving the bay area

please skip back up to the part of this dave update

just past the CAPS LOCK

and you can probably fill in the rest of the blanks

i'm pretty sick of living in the war zone district of a city that is turning to shit

i moved away from arizona because i wanted stuff to do

not because i was sick of living way too far from pricks

not like vincent gallo pricks

(even though there are definitely some brats here who owe me some money)

but just brats

i saw someone on bart today

playing with his ipad

wearing an outfit that definitely cost more than my wardrobe

but also nike's with like, goofy blue and orange colors

i felt like i could read his mind

and all it had to say was

"jeez i hope everyone can see how totally awesome i look right now"

 "maybe i should take a picture of myself and post it"

"with a comment that says 'beautiful day in san francisco!  who's down 2 hang?????'"

"also, i wish i could suck my own dick"

i should make an app called "suck ur dick"

where you can make a slideshow of all the hot selfies you've taken all your life

and you can watch them while you jack off

and when you cum it automatically takes a selfie and sends it to all your friends

hahahahahahahahahahaahahahaha

BEAUTIFUL DAY IN SAN FRANCISCO!

WHO'S DOWN 2 HANG????

hahahahahahahahahhaha

I AM SCREAMING WITH LAUGHTER

I AM SCREAMING

I AM SCREAMING FOR ICE CREAM

I AM SLOWLY LOOSENING MY GRIP ON REALITY

I AM STILL TALKING IN CAPS LOCK

SUCK A DICK SAN FRANCISCO

SUCK UR OWN DICK

phew

sorry about that

got carried away

so

anyhoo

this saturday

no idea what time

somewhere in the building on 666 2nd ave?

call me

510 575 HISS

this has been a dave "update" update