hellllllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooo

i am in a weiiiiiiiiiiiiiiird mood

very distracted

i feel like maybe i have a lot to say but don't really know or care about any of it enough to actually devote any analysis to any of it

like when you go to a buffet and think

"oh that looks good"

"oh that looks good"

"oh that looks good"

and then you get to the cashier and you realize there's nothing on your plate

WOW I JUST CAME UP WITH THAT SHIT!

holy hole-y baloney chonies

oh jeez these weird dave updates are the WORST

hey i wanna go out of town this week

if you are reading this and would like to host me please get in touch

and we'll make that shit HAPPEN

probably not a great idea to put that out there in the middle of a weird dave update

because i'm sure everyone who reads that will think

"yeah, i really want this guy to come over and talk to himself on my rug"

but WHAT THE FUCK EVER

OK

hey here's something

don't join facebook

like, last month or something

after deleting my account like 2 years ago

suddenly BOOM

it's just BACK

as though i never left

if anyone from facebook is reading this

it is totally unacceptable for a company your size//level of incomprehensible influence to not have a phone line

i mean i've had a hell of a time trying to fucking E-MAIL YOU

if you have facebook, take my dave challenge

log-out

and try to contact them

it's very difficult if you don't have an account!

i've tried several variations of "reporting a bug"

they make you jump thru all kinds of hoops before you can just tell them what the problem is

and you will never ever ever hear a response

i'm actually considering driving down there

but honestly the thought of it upsets me so much that i'm worried i would bring a weapon

like a big honkin bat

and i would be famous for being that crazy guy who smashed a bunch of cars in facebook's parking lot

the surveillance footage would probably go viral

because i would definitely bring a boom box

and some tall boys

and probably take my shirt off too

god the more i type about this the more i think it's a great idea

ok that's enough

i don't know where any of this shit is going

i don't even remember what i've just written

this has been the dave update