hi there

so much to talk about

it's been awhile since i've had time to do a legit dave update

i could talk about the squat eviction party i played on monday

i could talk about the shitty morning i had the other day

i could talk about that picture i posted of me in a suit

i could talk about how it feels to have a disgruntled reader

i could talk about how this is my 11th straight day at work

(these are all like 9-10 hour days, mind you)

i could talk about re-reading a jeffrey brown book recently

and wondering if he is too nerdy too enjoy

(i don't think that he is TOO nerdy but sometimes it is distracting)

(plus that dude meets a lot of ladies for some kid who always whines about girls)

(cheer up jeffrey brown)

(things could be worse)

(you could be a blogger instead of a comic book writer)

(also you could have a weird obsession with parentheses)

(i mean i read a story YOU WROTE about some girl)

(who wrote you because she liked your work)

(and then drove out to meet you at some comic convention or whatever)

(my readers?)

(they gang-up on me with all their weird internet voices)

(and tear me apart because what?)

(i miss like not even a week of writing or something?)

(this is dave update #160 for christsake)

(read the fucking archives)

(and don't complain to me about free shit)

(ha ha)

oh!

i could talk about the guy i saw the other day

i think i will talk about that

i was biking to work

a little bit late

and as i was approaching a corner that i turn right on

(folsom i think)

(parentheses)

i look on the sidewalk

and there's this construction worker there

i mean i assumed he was a construction worker

he could have just been a guy in a vest

but he was rockin some mean shades

and he had a J-J-J-J-JACKHAMMER

that was on and running

but he was just leaning on it with one hand

like it was a light post or something

and he had a cigarette in the other hand

dude looked so cool

he was ROCKIN a JACKHAMMER as though it were a CANE

and some people don't look great with canes

BUT THIS COLD MUTHA

looked dope with A JACKHAMMER

i mean talk about fashion forward

ha ha ha

i don't even really know what that term means

WHY IS IT NOT FRIDAY YET?

i just realized that it's on thursday

and when i go to soccer cafe to get a croissant

THEY WON'T HAVE ANY

because it's not croissant THURSDAY

IT'S CROISSANT FRIDAY

AND TODAY ISN'T FRIDAY

fuck i'm actually upset about this

ok

ok

calm down

i could talk about being so depressed that i had to take multiple trips to the bathroom

so that i could sit down on the floor and try not to cry

for reasons i didn't even understand

though it was suggested that perhaps i was on my period

...

sometimes the simplest explaination is the right one

i could talk about a lot of stuff really

there's a lot on my mind lately

i could talk about how shitty the artwork for this new magazine is

(but i'm trying to be less critical)

(even though i actually did in real life just talk about how shitty the artwork for this new magazine is)

(i won't say the name to be polite)

(and because the name is awful too)

(probably a good magazine though)

bump

bump bump

*chik*

that's how all fucking songs start these days and it's ANNOYING

i could talk about being fed up with san francisco

and really life in general

i could talk about how i don't really know what to do with myself lately

and all the trouble i'm having with really simple things

i could talk about mysterious bruises

and a mole that has popped up on the back of my neck

i could talk about how

even though i've been doing it this whole time

this whole "i could talk about..." pattern really isn't going anywhere

i keep on thinking about how i'm gonna break out of it but all the ideas i have are just dumb

am i really going to say "i COULD talk about these things"

"but i won't?"

i mean how dumb is that

i could talk about a lot of things

but when i talk a lot

it makes me want things

and i think i need to stop doing that

because what i have now is as good as it's ever going to get

you know what?

i could talk with you about any of these things

and really a lot fucking more

i mean we could talk about the other day

when someone at the all star hotel got a new little puppy

who is ADORABLE and really small

and they were playing with it and it started to run off

and it ran surprisingly fast

because seriously, TINY dog

and the owner was calling its name

but it's a puppy so i mean she doesn't know it yet

(i say she because i'm pretty sure she had a bow in her hair)

(sorry to be heteronormative but with dogs that stuff is more for recognition than social conditioning)

(anyways)

anyways

it wouldn't stop

so i ran up and stopped it before it ran out in the street

and brought it back to the owner

and we had a little laugh about it

and then yesterday i was leaving work

and i saw the owner and the lil puppy again

i just gave the owner the "i know you" nod and got the same in return

and then i looked down at the puppy

who was looking at me with her little cute eyes

and the little bow in her hair

and smiled at the dog

and kept walking

and then i heard running footsteps

and i turned around and the owner had grabbed the dog

because the little puppy turned around and started to follow me instead of her owner

my heart melted a little

see?

i could tell you that story

or like 65 others

510 575 HISS for fucks sake

you think i'm writing long rants on the internet because i have an active social life?

you think these rants are coming from someone who is fulfilled with what they have in life?

i mean FUCK

how many times do you have to give your number out on the internet

before you start getting some weirdos and creeps calling you?

you disappoint me internet

but if there's anything i'm used to it's disappointment

(or being grumpy and negative for no good reason)

(i'm used to that too)

(parentheses)

this has been the dave update

if you have any complaints about it you know the number