you guys you guys you guys

no time for formalities

watching internet tv right now

(uh-doi)

and bank of america has hired some "DIY expert"

to give hot DIY tips on how to improve your home

the first one?

take an old pallet

and hammer it on top of a table

BOOM

new table!

i'm not kidding

this is coming from a DIY EXPERT

second tip?

tape fake mosaic tiles

underneath your kitchen cabinets

BOOM

new kitchen

hey DIY EXPERT

it doesn't really count do it yourself

when all you do is buy something that does it for you

tip #3 is to take those old dresser drawers

paint em

and screw em together

and then put dumb bullshit in them

i guess they didn't have time in the commercial

for recommendations

for what to do with the old dresser that these drawers came in

DEAR DIY EXPERT

i don't know where bank of america found you

but while i won't take any of your home improvement tips

i will happily purchase and read your forthcoming memoir

"bullshitting"

"how to get paid for it"

"and how to get away with it"

FINALLY

this has been a solid dave update