hi there

one thing today i think

might turn into a long thing though

the more i think about it the more stories i have to tell

sooooo

when i was younger i used to write a lot more

i wanted to be a writer, i wanted to write screenplays actually because i figured i'd never be able to make a movie

mostly my parents advised me against that, they told me to look at movies as a "hobby" and think about what you REALLY want to do for a living

but really all the things i wanted to do were hobbies

i loved writing, i loved making music, i had all these ideas for movies

not like "wouldn't it be cool if king kong fought godzilla" ideas

but like both ideas for scripts and ideas for shorts

i remember i wrote 50 pages of a sci-fi-ish idea

(that wasn't really very good)

(about a man who controlled the flow of electricity with a giant machine)

(mostly i just thought it would be cool to make the giant machine)

(and also to have someone controlling the giant machine during the whole movie)

(i can actually still see both the machine and the angles i wanted to use while shooting it)

(the machine basically looks like a giant synth)

(of course)

(with knobs and patch cables and what not)

(i wanted one shot from the top corner opposite the machine)

(and one a kind of panning-POV shot from the control panel)

(one above and one beneath)

POINT BEING

i liked to write, whatever

a lot of young people do

a lot of young people also have english teachers who encourage them to pursue writing

you can group me in with that bunch as well

i wrote and wrote and finally started sending stuff to literary magazines that i knew of

some kind of cold submissions, some stuff i'd send to magazines i liked already

but never got a single response

after about 8 or 9 years of sending stuff out

(after like the first couple years i'd really only send out like one or two things a year)

i gave it up

since in all that time i'd only ever received one response

(a rejection obviously)

somewhere in there i'd started to actually play more music too

i mean i was already recording music on my own

but i looked at it more as a hobby than anything

finally someone asked me to help set up a show for julianna barwick

i wonder if julianna barwick googles herself?

hi julianna!

you may not remember me personally but i bet you remember playing on a bus

with deth box and diarreha til you die

that was a weird night huh?

still fun though

i was having trouble filling the bill

and i was also playing with my roommate's loop station a lot

so i decided, fuck it, i'll play too

just so we have more bands i guess

i threw together a little tape of old recordings to give away

MAAAAN i knew this one would turn out to be really long

so anyways

i played that show

a couple friends gave compliments

one guy kind of made fun of me

but whatever he's an asshole anyways

also kind of a perv too

if you believe rumors

i guess there are rumors about me too though so maybe i shouldn't judge

anyways

i gave away the tapes, don't really think anyone listened to them

put out like 3 or 4 more tapes after that

some people talked to me about them, some didn't

sent some copies out for review but never got reviewed

ALTHOUGH

foxy digitalis and animal psi actually did review a tape that jacy put out

that is a split tape from me and him

that was cool

ANYWAYS

long story even longer

i uploaded a few videos this weekend

of the video stuff i've been working on

and i LOVE doing this stuff

and i LOVE the results too

i mean not everything looks great but i still like to watch them

but any time i get excited about something new that i'm working on

there is ALWAYS the frustration of

"just cuz you build it doesn't mean anyone will give a shit"

and i'm happy to finally be in a position where i can kind of understand why people don't give a shit

and to not let it get to me too much

but it's still a little annoying when

you tell your friends about something you've done that you're excited about

and not a single damn person checks it out

i hope no one thinks i am passive-agressively writing this update to like

call them out

"yo brah you didn't watch this thing i made so i'm gonna write a really long dave update all about how much i hate you but still act like everything's cool if we hang out in person"

HEY

everything's cool

check out what i do or don't

it's up to you and you've got your reasons for either one

i'm just giving voice to something that bothers me

because i find when i do that it doesn't bother me as much

so there you go

ok

i think that's all?

hm

yup

that's all

still feel good

despite how this update may sound

this has been a deceptive dave update