hey there

today's update is a story i just remembered and wanted to share

SHARING IS CARING YOUNG DAVERS

when i was in college i took a lot of writing workshop classes

in case you haven't figured out by the 270 posts preceding this one

i like to write

(even though yes)

(a lot of these dave updates are just me saying "nope")

also writing workshop classes are EASY A'S

ha ha

ANYWAYS

i took a couple poetry ones

(yeah yeah)

(don't judge)

i took this advanced one

because i am a very advanced poet

(in case you haven't figured out by the 270 posts preceding this one)

and in this advanced poetry course there was a girl named cynthia

who was a really good poet but a really serious one

i don't know what reminded me of this but i wanted to tell this story

because i remembered this one poem that she wrote that took place during mardi gras

and there was a line in french in it

and i don't speak a word of french

so when i gave her notes for the poem i wrote something like

"i don't speak french but is this like some sort of phrase/slogan about mardi gras?"

"i like its placement here even though i don't know what it means"

something like that

turns out i was right

i don't remember what it was but it's like a french expression about mardi gras

like "what happens in vegas stays in vegas" but much more loaded i guess

ANYWAYS

i think she was impressed that i was able to guess that from context because we wound up going out for a minute

and WE TOTALLY DID IT

YESSSSSS

HIGH FIVE RIGHT YOUNG DAVERS?

but here's what i think is funny about the story

so we did it and the next class we had together we were supposed to bring in a poem inspired by a fairy tale

oh!

i actually can find the poem for this story!

wow!

holy shit

i can find both of the poems i wrote in this story

what a world

i'll put them in the comments of this entry because they will distracted from the story

(yeah that's right)

(my poetry is so advanced that it's distracting)

so my poem was called cuts under stockings and it was about cinderella kind of hating her new life as a boring princess

and the first couplet was

When Princess Cinderella wears a skirt (please,
call me Cindy) sometimes she gets razor burn

(i wasn't as into parentheses back then but clearly loved awkward line breaks)

(still do actually)

and she talked to me after class and was like

"hey i really liked your poem but i don't think it's appropriate for you to write stuff about me in class"

(her name was cynthia, remember?)

(stick with me young davers)

and i was like, "oh, no"

"that's not about you, it's about cinderella"

and she was like "oh ok"

but i think she was actually disappointed ha ha

the next week our assignment was to write a poem using three new words

and mine was called "she"

because i had this idea where i wanted a title to end a poem

and my mind is such that any time i want to try something new in writing

the topic itself is always about girls, love, sex, etc

it's just easy, you know?

god i keep getting so distracted during this story

am i talking a lot right now?

i feel like i'm talking a lot right now

whatever

hunker down dave

gotta get through this story

that is turning out to be less good than i remember

so i wrote about having writer's block

because all i could think about was a girl

you can read this one in the comments, it sounds much worse than it is when i describe it

HEY!

new dave contest

if you can guess the three new words i used in this poem

i will take you for a long walk on the beach

and buy you an ice cream cone

and maybe hold your hand if it seems right

or if you can think of another date cliche

we'll do that instead

i'll take you on a date, that's what i'll do

maybe i should take you on a bad date instead actually

ok

if you can guess the three new words

i will take you out to dinner

but when the check comes

i'll stand up angrily and say

"no, i'll get the bill, i don't want to owe you anything"

and then storm out and leave you there

510 575 HISS

god this story is derailing FAST

so i wrote this poem

and cynthia wrote on it

"i want to know more about the woman in the poem"

"who is she?  why do you feel so strongly towards her?"

"i think the reader needs to know more of your intentions for this poem to work"

we stopped dating soon after

one time this guy i was in a band with

told a girl i was dating that i was fun to play music with

but kind of aloof as a person

I GET IT NOW

this dave update is all over the place