hi there

well now

interesting week thus far

the bats RULE by the way

god

already music has me feeling good

though maybe a little uncapable

i listened to martin newell this morning

and of course HE'S great

but now the bats are really doing it for me right now

ha ha

there's this buzzer that goes off in our office

i actually don't know what it does

but it sounds exactly like the family feud sound

you know the one

"survey says?"

then that big ol' X hits the screen

NO

YOU IDIOT

YOU'VE EMBARRASSED YOUR FAMILY ON NATIONAL TV

anyways

it went off as that last bats song was coming to a close

and

oh

fuck this story

the end

that story was just going nowhere

takes a brave man to admit when he's just rambling

can't wait for that bagel to finish toasting

i should start a twitter account for every time i think about food

ha ha ha

i typed that in

and then my bagel finished toasting

so i got up

and thought to myself

"this is a good idea"

but by the time i got back i had already forgotten what i'd written

and i re-read it

and i no longer think it's a good idea

because it would just be a list that said

pizza.

crackers.

egg salad sandwich.

i hope that when i die it says "internet sensation" on my tombstone

ha ha ha ha

in fact young davers

consider that a demand

when i die it better fucking say "internet sensation" on my tombstone

i just changed my gchat status to internet sensation

but i should change it to "internet sensation" because i think it's funnier in quotes

DON'T FORGET THE QUOTES WHEN I DIE

also

FUCK THE NEW RAPTURE

jesus christ

in the cornball high school movie that is life

the rapture is like that annoying kid

who, after you spend all night trying to figure out how the fuck to do the dougie

you go to the dance and the rapture comes up to you as you're NAILING the dougie

and says

"the dougie? lame"

"everyone's doing the worm now dude"

it's like

they were on fucking gravity

and now this "how deep is your love" song sounds like "100% pure love"

shit SUCKS

fucking pathetic

so says dave gulbis

"internet sensation"

(if i start ingraining it in your heads now it's more likely to stick)

god yesterday's dave update was so good i'm gonna go read that shit AGAIN

see you nerds later

this has been the dave update