hi there

sometimes i write the dave update at work

(usually actually)

because i feel good about getting paid to write it

(even though i'm actually paid to not write it)

but i always wanted to be a writer in some capacity

so i figure if i can technically say i'm getting paid while writing these

then i can check PROFESSIONAL WRITER off my list of things i'd like to be

today i am smoking while writing this

and even though it's on a laptop

i feel like i can probably check BEATNIK off too

that's one of my favorite clean songs btw

i think it's the clean at least

if any readers can confirm or deny

that number again is 510 575 HISS

am i taking too much pride in my phone number?

probably

not really the beatnik way i suppose

next on the list is secretary i think

i really do honestly want to be a secretary

i love being patronizingly friendly

and having a job that isn't important at all

NOT THAT SECRETARIES AREN'T IMPORTANT

i don't need any angry letters from secretaries

i just don't think anyone really views it as a calling

(except for me)

(because i think i'd be really good at it)

(i've gone on long enough i hope)

(that you all realize i'm not joking)

ok

not often i do weekend dave updates

but i just rearranged my room

and i feel better today

that's all

this has been the dave update