hello there

so

i feel weird right now

conflicted maybe

yesterday was ok

andy and i were almost extras in a movie with rob lowe

but we were, no kidding:

"not black enough"

it was really funny, we met with some assistant to the assistant director or something

and he was telling us

(well, actually not us, he didn't talk to us directly)

(the assistant to the assistant to the assistant director)

but he kept tiptoeing around using the word black

he was like

"we're looking for some people who are more ethnic, more gritty, more urban"

and HIS assistant (god there are a lot of assistants on movie sets)

anyways

HIS assistant was black

and after listening to his boss or whatever twist in the wind

he finally said

"it's cool dude, you can say black"

that cracked me up

i told them i wouldn't mind doing blackface

but i don't think anyone but me thought that was funny

anyways, that was fun yesterday

i also had double practice yesterday

which was fun

i still felt off all day yesterday though

i hate that i'm still stuck thinking about an old friendship that's soured

maybe i should talk about it on here but i'm probably not going to

i'll summarize i guess

summarize?

that really doesn't look right

summarize summarize

i can't think of any other way to spell it?

god damn it

i gotta look this up

summarize is apparently right

anyways

...

i don't think i want to get into this

long story short i thought someone cared for me

and it turns out they didn't

and the way it was brought to light was very painful

for a variety of reasons

now i'm trying to move on from it

but it honestly doesn't seem possible

because i just don't have enough "new" in my life

anyways

i'm trying not to focus on it

and i'm trying not to care really

things only hurt if you let them

and i'm trying not to let being alone bother me

it still does but i'm getting better at it

ok

this is getting to be a really annoying dave update

sorry

i hate when i go on pathetic rants like this

yesterday was a strange and not great day

but i was also almost in a movie

oh and one of my favorite things to do is tell really dumb topical jokes

and while we were waiting to get a "callback" about being extras

i told andy a lot of jokes

i thought they were hilarious

andy probably was less enthused

but either way i was really enjoying it

i want to live in green water

this has been an awfully rocky dave update