welcome to today's dave update.

i think i ate too many orange things yesterday

i got really gassy

i had 2 oranges and a lot of carrots, fake buffalo wings, and a sparkling clementine soda

when i still lived in arizona i used to drink a lot of orange juice every time i got sick

but then someone told me you can overdose on citrus

and immediately after he told me that i started getting stomach issues every time i drank orange juice

i watched newsradio last night and decided that "the public domain" isn't my favorite episode any more

i mean i still really it but it doesn't pack the same punch it used to

the jumper episode was a lot more funny this time

still not a big jon lovitz fan though

jacy and i listening to a 16 bitch pile up lp last night, i really liked it, i think the time was just right to hear 16bpu

i have a bootleg of them and i was at the show on the bootleg

after the show shannon and i had a head-butting fight, it was so dumb

we were gonna see who would stop first but we did it once and stopped right away, ha ha

it fucking hurt

i mean we were both drunk i think, i was at least

but it was still really painful

my room is so disgusting right now i can't do anything in it

i need to start getting rid of shit

hm

i need to put bandaids on my ankles

these new shoes are nice but they are super stiff

LIKE MY BONER

ha ha

sorry

i think it's funny that i can't remember the last time i masturbated or the last time i got a blow job

i really can't, no idea

i mean it's been a really long time since i've gotten a bj, like way more than a year i'm sure

i'm confident i have masturbated this year though maybe not this month

i don't know what this music is but it's terrible

oh today on bart i saw 2 really weird people

one of them was just a homeless guy but he had a really nice walker

looked new

i can't remember who the other guy was now

oh!

nevermind i remember

it was gettng off bart

he was sitting on the floor at the stairs

and this girl walked by him and he hollered out "yes! beautiful!"

"i love what you are doing!"

it maybe looks gross on paper but it was actually pretty charming

he sold it well i guess

ok i have a ton of work to do

thanks for tuning into the dave update